You’ve just launched a brand-spanking new blog and have received a comment to one of your very first posts. Exciting! Someone’s actually read and responded to your carefully written and researched article.

Until you begin receiving more comments, and they all appear to sound the same.

Sometimes it’s just gibberish that seems as if they used Magnetic Poetry to compose their comments, and other times they’re simply vague paragraphs which have no relevance to the post they’re supposedly responding to. Yep, this is all spam — in fact, these bozos most likely never read a single word of the article. What they’re hoping is that you’ll be fooled into approving their comment (if comments are held in moderation). And why should they bother to do this at all? Because they want back links by listing their website URLs in the comments section of your blog articles. Many of these websites are nothing more than link farms or fake blogs loaded with affiliate advertising, often using content scrubbed from other blogs and websites (plagiarism obviously doesn’t bother these scumbags). If you want your blog bitch-slapped by Google, just have a link exchange with any of these bogus websites.

As a test, just leave the standard “Hello World!” sample post and watch the comments pour in. “What an insightful article. I can certainly use this information.” Yeah, kinda obvious that it’s a spammer, huh?

I’ve been blogging for years, so I’ve seen all manner of these fake comments. I thought I’d list a few of them on here; who knows, maybe you’ve seen one of these pop up on your own blog recently. I’ve left out the comments selling handbags, bitcoins, sneakers, and other questionable merchandise. I’ve also not edited the misspellings and bad grammar.

Gibberish Comments

 Until tҺe third quarter half bell Blake hit the long shot, the Lakers might be sent out oon the singlee digits; Jordan Hill tipped the Lakers Zhuizhi 5660.This mode encompasses the develop (international friendly and qualifіcation matcɦes) as well as World Cup Finals.

Really? Do I need to know this?

And unlike SMS, there are no character limits and you only pay for what you use. It gives a strong competition to Apple with its new features and applications. While some developers seek to work on specific platforms, there are many who have experience over multiple apps developer areas. There’s a link of data within a Raster this controls how it’s displayed on your personal computer keep track of.

On top of QR codes the app is also capable of scanning regular barcodes, making such a seemingly simple application very versatile. Here is my weblog; [redacted URL]

I think the dude envisioned this in a fever dream.

Fake Compliments Comments

Hey there great blog! Does running a blog such as this require a massive amount work? I’ve no expertise in programming but I had been hoping to start my own blog in the near future. Anyhow, if you have any recommendations or techniques for new blog owners please share. I know this is off subject but I just had to ask. Many thanks!

Hey, there! Yes, it is a lot of work setting up and running a blog — especially when you have to sort through scores of fake, spammy comments like yours. So here’s a suggestion: STOP SPAMMING WEBSITES.

It’s appropriate time to make some plans for the future and it’s time to be happy. I’ve read this post and if I could I wish to suggest you few interesting things or tips. Maybe you can write next articles referring to this article. I wish to read even more things about it! Also visit my blog bitcoin [redacted]

Hmm. I’m pretty sure that I never mentioned “bitcoins” in the post this spammer is referring to.

My spouse and I stumbled over here from a different web address and thought I should check things out. I like what I see so now i am following you. Look forward to looking at your web page yet again.

Well, you and your spouse can just stumble away. I love adding new followers, just not followers of the spammer persuasion.

 Hello! This post couldn’t be written any better! Reading this post reminds me of my old roommate! He always kept chatting about this. I will forward this write-up to him. Fairly certain he will have a good read. Thank you for sharing!

Wow, you keep up with “old roommates.” Impressive. Is your old roommate a spammer like you?

Everything is very open with a clear description of the challenges. It was really informative. Your site is useful. Many thanks for sharing!

Oh, no — thank you for sharing. Yep, sarcasm.

Hello to all, thhe contents existing at thi website are truly awesome foor people experience, well, keep up the nice work fellows.

Even autocorrect isn’t responsible for this…

Hi there, always  і used to check webpage posts here early in the dawn, for thhe reason that і love to learn more and more.

What’s the deal with checking “webpage post here early in the dawn”? Do the words make more sense at that time of the morning? I guess you have to get up really early to start spamming…

It’s nearly impossible to find experienced people in this particular subject, however, you sound like you know what you’re talking about! Thanks Review my web site — [website URL redacted]

Yeah, I do know what I’m talking about, and I can spot a spammy, trolling comment when I see one. Like yours.

Just want to say your article is as astonishing. The clearness in your post is just great and i can assume you are an expert on this subject. Fine with your permission let me to grab your RSS feed to keep updated with forthcoming post. Thanks a million and please keep up the gratifying work.

Ah, you make me blush. But I’m still not going to approve your fake, spammy comment.

Good way of describing, and pleasant piece of writing to obtain data on the topic of my presentation topic, which i am going to deliver in college.

Oh, please don’t.

 

You can bet that this post will receive an assortment of these same pathetic comments, hoping that I’ll approve them (not a chance). They just can’t help themselves.